presentsense

Louis CK says what I've been thinking...

This is funny and true...

South Carolina man gains another way to talk to his wife, head asplodes

Dateline: Fort Mill, South Carolina
11/11/08

A South Carolina man just found out the limit of human ability-to-keep-one's-shit-together, when he introduced his wife to the online micro-blogging service Twitter.

"Everything was fine, and then -pop- a little gasket must have let go in my skull," the man said in a phone interview from the mental hospital he just checked into. "There I was, I had just updated my status in Facebook, when my gmail got a note that my wife had sent me a private message in Facebook. While I was replying to that message, my gmail notified me that she had commented on my Facebook status. As I surfed over to read that comment, gmail chat beeped at me and told me that she needed the lyrics to a song or a recipe for tripe or something, and then she tweeted on Twitter how much she loved me. And then my bowels let go."

The man is resting comfortably in his suite at Lazy Rainbows Mental Hospital. He can be reached via Twitter, Facebook private message, Facebook Wall, Facebook comment, Gmail chat, Gmail, SMS, cell phone, his office phone which forwards to his cell phone, US Mail, carrier pigeon, certified courier, semaphore, and Cherokee smoke signals. Until the lithium kicks in.

Now is the time for change - for me anyway...

Background link: Dutch Sheets pretty much says we're in deep trouble now...

My Friends,

I too, once and for all, consider myself post-charismatic. I am absolutely sick to my stomach to think that we have devolved as a movement - yea a church - into seeing the world through first testament language. I know some wings of the church have always had this view, but I thought we were different. We are not. We still think God gets us to do things through fear and threat of punishment. When we feel that God treats us this way, we start to treat others the same way. Will there ever be a time when loves rules? Seriously, is there any hope?

For this reason, I refuse to include myself in this "we" anymore. I know a lot of people - people who I think are good people - who call themselves Charismatic and who listen to the counsel of others based upon whether or not they are also using this label. If it was ever unclear, I officially quit this game.

I am not walking away from the Lord . If anything, I am walking towards Him even more, because I believe that He is moved by love, not judgment. I believe we live in a world of fallen people whom God loves anyway. When I find something to do to show love to people, I do it. When I find reason to judge them for their sin or stupidity, I choose to love them instead. If it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, I think he'll do a better job without my help.

And if I am wrong and our nation 'goes to hell' or gets judged based on this election, it will only be one in a long line of charges that can be leveled against it. Genocide. Theft. Forced Labor. Ignorance of the poor (the true sin of Sodom). Destruction of the Earth. Wasteful consumption. Greed. Racial hatred. Idolatry. I don't think a case can be made that this "great nation" is not also guilty of everything on that list, and more besides. The audacity it takes to arbitrarily proclaim God's judgment of this nation because of an election is truly beyond the pale.

With love for all,
Eli Renner
founder of Ex-Charismatics For Jesus.

OK, so you voted, so now what?

Every 1461 days, as an American, you have the privilege to cast a vote for the highest office in the land. It's important, of course, but as a Christian, if you are one, what you did or didn't do today should not be the end. It's not time to take a nap. The Kingdom of this world is still warring against the Kingdom of our God, and of His Anointed One, and YOU still have a role to play. You can still vote. You vote every day.

You vote when you help your neighbor, and you vote when you don't.

You vote when you feed a hungry man, and you vote when you don't.

You vote when you love people who hurt you, and you vote when you don't.

You vote when you take in strangers, and you vote when you don't.

You vote when you love the unlovely, and you vote when you don't.

You vote when you give into fear, and you vote when you don't.

You vote when you hold on to what you have, and you vote when you don't.

A vote is a choice, and we all make choices, some large and some small, every day. In reality, the sum total of those daily votes is what will matter when our lives our judged at the end. Who we "voted for" in the dozen or more presidential elections  we have the privilege to participate in, will be far outweighed by the choices - votes - we make on all the other days of our lives.

Don't stop now.  Keep voting.

A Prayer for today

Good morning, America...

Your day may include a trip to the polls to cast a vote today, and you may not. Regardless of your plans, I think it would be good for us all to remember today, wherever we are, to pray. One way to do that is to follow the model Jesus offered (and I'll paraphrase...)

Our Father, who is in Heaven,

Your name is holy.

May you truly become our King

May your will be done

Here in our reality,

As it is in Yours.

Today, we only ask for the things we need...for today

Please forgive us what we owe,

As we forgive those who owe us

Don't take us down paths of temptation,

Instead, lead us away from evil.

For You have the authority, and the power, and the glory, from now on. 

You always have.

Amen.

URGENT - Political message

We interrupt our political hiatus for a very important message:

As many of you already are frighteningly aware, our country is experiencing an unprecedented period of uncertainty and turmoil. The nations morals have been compromised on every front. Our patriotism and national pride is at an all time low. Prayer has left our schools. Women are aborting babies at an alarming rate, and many aren't even retarded or anything like that. Teen pregnancy is at record levels. The cost of oil is nearly unaffordable for the average Joe (plumbers and otherwise). Senior citizens have seen their pensions dissolve and their retirement savings literally wiped out by corporate greed and financial speculation. Roads and bridges are crumbling. Men are marrying other men. Women are marrying other women. Kittens are being slaughtered. Drugs are rampant in our schools and day care centers.

But, the good news is that we can do something about it. We have a tremendous privelege to be able to vote for president, and there is one candidate who can and will set everything right that has gone so horribly wrong up to now. Sarah Palin. She is a viruous woman of unparalleled resources and intellect. She not only believes in God, but she walks the walk. She is Esther. For such a time as this and all that. And so, with this post, I want to once and for all endorse Sarah Palin for President and recommend that all my readers take an unconventional, but critical step on November 4th.

Please write in Sarah Palin as your candidate for President. That's right, I am advocating a write-in campaign. Please do it, and pass this on to ten of your friends by email. With God on our side, we can turn this election in a direction that no one dreamed, and take our country back for the ultimate Patriot - God.

Eli

Please pray for Hayden today

Our 8 year old son, Hayden, is flying to Indiana today - by himself. If you pray, please say a little prayer for him. He's excited, but then he's never changed planes in ATL. Actually, he's never even been on an airplane before in his life, and he gets to do it all by himself, and did I mention a layover in ATL? Yeah, anyway, please pray, and if you don't pray, send a good vibe. He'll be fine, I am sure, but even I (seasoned traveler lol) get a little ruffled going through Atlanta.

Lord, please be with Hayden today in a way that he can feel, and please protect him in a way that I can't.

Time lapse with a twist

I love time lapse photography, but most of it is from a fixed vantage point. This example is pseudo-fixed, in that the camera is in fact mounted, but to a moving car, and it is driven from LA to New York in four minutes. The music is pretty cool too. Enjoy. Two weeks of mindless crap and art posts to go!

The beauty of Autumn

If you like autumn pictures...

Clickee dis linkee

Grandfather Mountain (90 minutes from my house) even gets a picture on this page. Incidentally, for you locals, I read recently that Grandfather Mountain was just sold to the State of North Carolina, and it will become a state park. Previously, it was a private concern (and expensive to visit for a family of seven, unless you tell them you are a AAA member, which the girl at the gate insisted that we do, whether we were or not. I think she felt sorry to tell us it would cost us more than 50 clams to drive to the top of the mountain and swing across a bridge)

If you like to admire beautiful photography, I recommend the Big Picture blog on Boston.com (that's where this link is from).

Dragging ourselves to church

Yesterday, Steph and I literally dragged ourselves to church. We had every excuse imaginable not to go. Weekends have become something to recover from by going back to work. Saturday morning I stepped on a stick which ignored the sole of my shoe and punctured the arch of my foot. (OUCH). Sunday morning, Steph woke up with stomach cramps/vomiting. Still, limping and doubled over, we rustled up five kids and headed uptown.

Saturday, I had been reading Psalm 37, and I sent it to a friend who was going through a rough time. Well, guess what Jonathan's sermon text was? He also asked the body to read Psalm 37 every day this week. I don't think that's such a bad idea. I'd like you to join us. I'll make it easy.

Click here for Psalm 37 in The Message
Click here for Psalm 37 in the NIV
Click here for Psalm 37 in the King James
Click here to have it read to you. (sorry, you'll have to dig a litte. I recommend having Max McLean read the NIV to you with soothing synth-pad music in the background